Christmas Memories
by nanuk solitura
Summary: "We're making Christmas memories for Jane. And what's Christmas without a little day drinking." Jane, Zapata and Patterson trying to festive.
1. Skating

**Little Christmassy one shot that would probably fall between [1x08] and [1x09]**

 **#drunkpatterson #neverforget**

* * *

"Maybe this wasn't _-hic_ \- such a good idea. Whose idea- _hic_ \- was this?"

Patterson swayed violently, and Jane quickly righted her, lips pressed tight in suppressed laughter. She kept an arm firmly around the blondes waist as they skidded forwards on the ice. Tasha reluctantly stepped out after the pair.

"Yours, genius. It's "festive" remember." she replied, moving dutifully to her other side, steadying her arm.

"Exactly. It's festive. We're - oh!" Patterson's left skate slipped sideways under her, and Jane dipped to catch her arm. "Thank you. We're making _\- hic-_ Christmas memories for Jane."

Tasha snorted. "And what's Christmas without some serious day drinking huh?"

"Exactly. Drinking is festive. Ice skating is festive. Forward!"

Jane bit her lip in a grin and glanced behind Patterson's wool swaddled form, to meet Tasha's rolling eyes. "Granted I have no experience to draw on, but I'm thinking we shouldn't be trying to mix the two?"

"No. We shouldn't." Tasha's reply was deadpan, but her eyes betrayed her amusement. She opened her mouth but Patterson was adamant.

"We should. Forward!"

"Okay, okay, we're moving." Tasha gripped Patterson's arm tighter, and Jane glided forwards quickly to match her other side. She felt pretty confident in her skates, and was moving smoothly so far. She was so focused on Patterson, all giggles and uncoordinated limbs, that she barely looked down her own feet. She steered them a careful path through the sea of skaters with an ease she was grateful for considering their wobbly centre. Tasha's voice cut through the chatter around them.

"You reckon you've done this before then?"

She glanced down at her skates and tilted her head slightly.

"I think so. It feels kind of familiar. And I guess I haven't fallen over yet."

On cue, the scientist between them yelped and pitched backwards, feet kicking up.

"Woah, woah. We gotcha." Tasha slid an arm around her waist and pulled her upright. "Right, we're doing one lap, that's it."

Patterson mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like _scrooge,_ and Jane mouthed the word back at Tasha, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'll explain later. Let's just get round here in one piece."

They moved across the ice slowly. This was nice. The company, the atmosphere, even the activity. It actually felt like something she might have enjoyed once. She seemed to know instinctively which way to tilt her blades on the ice to steer Patterson well enough, and was steady on her feet. She weaved her feet experimentally on the ice, testing her balance.

"Hey look at us! We're getting _\- hic -_ pretty good at this!" Patterson's tipsy laughter was infectious and Jane could feel her cheeks burning in the cold wind as she grinned back. "I think I'm ready to try on my own guys-"

"-no you're not."

"I am. Lemme go, I can do it."

Tasha sighed heavily, and relinquished her arm. "Alright, you asked for it. Remember that later, when we're having to ice your ass."

Jane snorted into her freezing hands as Patterson stumbled forwards, skates catching and sliding awkwardly _._ Tasha stayed close behind her, hands held out warily waiting for the anticipated slip. _God, she was cold._ She pulled her leather jacket more firmly around herself but it was doing little to protect her neck and face from the chill. The inevitable, albeit awkward conversation with Mayfair was looming. She was tired of her detail buying her groceries, and her toiletries. Tired of the team buying her drinks all the time. Did assets get paid? Could she open a bank account? She had so many questions about when she was actually allowed to start living-

"I can't stop! Sorry! I can't-"

A small, speeding mass collided hard with her ribs, and she skidded backwards into the wall of the rink that they had been skirting. Her spine rammed against the barrier with a painful thud, the impact knocking the breath out of her. Ten feet in front Patterson turned quickly at the noise, and immediately lost her balance. With the blondes arms wind milling frantically in the air, Tasha rushed up behind her and the two crashed onto the ice in an ungainly heap of limbs. Jane grabbed at the child now clinging to her middle, and at the railing, somehow managing to keep them both on their feet. Breathing hard, she regained their balance.

"Sorry! I haven't learnt how to stop really good yet, only how to go really fast and -hey! You're that tattooey lady!"

Jane blanched, and moved the child back from her slightly. The blonde mop of messy curls protruding from his woolly hat gave him away.

"Sawyer?"

"Yeah." His brow furrowed as he squinted up at her. "You're Tayl-

 _"Sawyer!"_

"Oh perfect." Tasha's voice carried from the floor up ahead of them.

Kurt rounded a group of teenagers methodically scanning the crowd, presumably for his nephew. Spotting the pair of them, he visibly double took and came to a halt on the ice. "Jane?"

"Err, yeah. Hi." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "This yours?"

Eyes travelling from her bladed feet, up to her face, his mouth was still dropped open slightly. Then he registered Sawyer in front of her, kicking his toes into the surface of the ice.

"Uhh, yeah. Yeah! Hey, buddy. Your mom saying it's time to go home is _not_ your cue to high tail it away from us." He came to a stop in front of them and pulled the boy towards him by the shoulders. "What did we say about staying near us?"

Sawyer dipped his head, staring at the floor. "I know. But she's soooo slow, and I wanted a fast lap before we left."

She noticed Kurt's lip quirk up in amusement, although imperceptible to the boy, and tried to hide her own smile.

"Then just ask. Okay?"

"Okay. Sorry." He held out a mitten clad hand in penance, and Kurt took it with a smile and tweak of the bobble on his hat. "Thank you for catching me Taylor."

Her smile faltered at the name. The name that didn't feel hers. Immediately the easy atmosphere felt stifling, and the tightness in her chest from the winding increased. She pushed her freezing fingers into her pockets and tried to relax her breathing.

"Hey," his voice was close, soft. His free hand on her elbow. "I'm sorry, I'll-"

"S'ok. It's okay." She glanced down at the boy, who was looking between them both curiously. "You're welcome, Sawyer"

Kurt was still watching her intently.

"Bud, you see your mom? Over there by the exit?" he gestured across the rink, and Sawyer nodded, bobble swaying. "Straight to her okay. Slowly, and round the right way. She's watching."

Sawyer took off easily across the ice, little legs moving in even strides. Kurt's eyes tracked him to the rink exit before turning back to her. He was still touching her elbow, the warmth from his fingers seeping through the thin layers she wore.

"What are you doing here?" His gaze was bordering on incredulous, looking at her skates again.

"Umm-

"We're being festive!"

The call came from Patterson, sliding around on her knees trying to stand up. Tasha had her hands hooked under her arms, trying to keep traction on the ice. As he took in the pair of them, Kurt's eyebrows rose higher than she'd thought possible, and she bit at her lip to stifle her laugh.

"Festive?" He moved over to them swiftly and helped lift Patterson onto her feet. Jane followed behind blowing warm air into her palms.

"Thanks boss." Tasha muttered, dusting the ice from her coat and knees .

"Oof! Thank you. Yes. We're being festive!"

Patterson clutched at Tasha's begrudging arm and beamed up at him. He flashed her a quick grin as he took in her mood. "Yeah, you said that already."

"We're making Christmas memories _\- hic-_ for Jane! She doesn't have any."

His eyes softened immediately and found hers. Normally she hated the pitying looks she got in the office, and in the lab. But Kurt rarely looked at her with the pity that others did. It was more an understanding between them by now. His eyes told her he knew that it hurt. He knew she was trying. Mostly just that he was there for her. He was right there. She noticed his hand twitch at his side.

She felt a little warmer.

"Was this a memory? The skating?" He asked quietly. "You seem pretty comfortable on those." He gestured to her skates.

Tasha scoffed loudly. "Have we found anything she's not good at though?"

Her cheeks already feeling crimson with cold, she ducked her chin in discomfiture and shook her head to his first question. But Kurt just laughed and cocked his head in acknowledgement.

"True. So Christmas is about skating and..." he glanced at Patterson again. "Alcohol, apparently?"

Jane and Tasha opened their mouths to speak but Patterson was way ahead of them.

"Yes! Those are two very Christmassy things, Agent Kurt. Sir." she gestured wildly at Jane. "She's very good at ice _-hic-_ skating apparently, and she's _very_ good at drinking."

"Uh-" Jane tried to interject, but Kurt was grinning and Patterson was still going full steam ahead.

"I mean you should see her drink, we drank like, the exact same amount and I'm like this, and she's fine. She drinks like a Russian. Ooh a Russian! Maybe you're a Russian ice dancer!"

"Right. _We_ are gonna get a coffee, come on." Tasha spun Patterson carefully on the spot and started leading her towards the rinks overhanging drinks kiosk. She waved over her head. "See you on Monday boss."

"See you at _-hic-_ work, Agent boss!"

Kurt was laughing fully now, waving at his departing team members. Jane pushed her hair back behind her ear nervously again, and looked up him.

"We're not in trouble are we?" she asked, and he glanced back at her in confusion. "The drinking?"

He laughed richly again, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets. "No, no of course not. It's your day off. And Patterson's a great drunk," he replied, a smile still quirking his lips. "Have you had a nice day?"

She liked him like this, she thought. Relaxed, and smiling. Laughing - she had never seen him laugh so much. She really liked the sound.

"Yeah, I have. They're sweet to do this with me..."

"They want to Jane." his voice was gentle again, reassuring. "No one's making them."

She exhaled on a smile, spying the pair collecting coffees across the rink. She hoped they really didn't mind doing this sort of stuff with her. Shopping, drinking. Just hanging out with her. She got so damn lonely in the safe house all the time, locked away with nothing but those fragments of memory that made no sense to her. At least when she was at work, or out with them she got away from it for a little while. Felt normal for a little while.

"I still plan to, by the way." he broke into her thoughts.

"Plan to what?"

His eyes held a hint of mischief as he surveyed her face, but his voice was serious. "See you drink. I did promise, after all."

 _He remembered_. She had been wondering. "Yeah," she paused for second. "You did."

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, the chatter of the crowd and the Christmas songs falling away slightly as they watched one another. She found herself doing this a lot more often then she'd care to admit. Just looking at him. Noting the curves of his nose. Watching his mouth when he spoke, the movements of his lips. The laugh lines at the corners of his eyes; tangible proof of his easy laugh. He has beautiful eyes...

 _Jesus, get a grip. Where had that even come from?_

She coughed, and peered over his shoulder. "Umm, I think Sarah is waiting for you." She motioned to his sister, waving from the exit area and he turned.

"Yeah, I should go," he said, revolving smoothly back to face her on the ice.

She slid backwards and curled her fingers into her palms. "Okay. I'll see-"

"Wait, Jane." he stopped her. He glided forwards, closing the space between them until he was within arm's length. He reached up and quickly untangled his scarf, then slid forward until his toe picks were nudging hers. His breath was warm on her face, and she held hers. "Here." he murmured, looping the scarf around her back of her neck. "You look frozen." He curled the scarf around her once more, and then carefully tucked the ends into the top of her jacket.

"Thank you." she said, tucking her chin into the material. He scanned her up and down once more, and pulled off his gloves. "You don't have to-"

"Jane." His voice was a gruff whisper. He held out one glove by the edges of the wrist expectantly. She pulled her hands out of her pockets, sliding her left into the first glove. He did the same with the right, and she wiggled her fingertips in the warmth his hands had left behind. He held her gloved hand gently between his own, rubbing his thumbs across her palm. Heat blossomed beneath the skin and she sighed involuntarily.

He looked up from her hand. "Better?"

"Mhmm. Thank you. I'll bring them into work." she said quietly.

He just shook his head and watched her face, the barest of smiles on his lips. "Have fun. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded, and he released her hand and glided backwards carefully, holding her eyes still. She curled her hand in on itself at the loss of contact, and tucked it back into her pocket. She watched him until he turned and stepped off the rink.

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

 **It's only been a couple of weeks but the hiatus is killing me here.**

 **Send help.**


	2. Snow

**Snow**

* * *

He rapped on the door and stepped back, careful on the frozen stone steps. The snow was still falling fast, the vast blanket that had settled over the city thickening by the hour. The stubborn whiteout had begun sometime during the night, and as of yet was showing no signs of relenting. He swapped the bag into his other hand to lift his fingers to his mouth, breathing warmth over them.

The door hadn't budged, and he could hear no movement from inside. He hesitantly fished the spare key he had collected from her detail out of his pocket.

 _She's probably just asleep. Should let her rest, come back later._

Patterson had arrived late into the morning briefing yesterday, announcing that Jane was sick, and wouldn't be coming in. _Just a cold_ , she had said. She'd been over there to see her, they weren't running a case at the moment this close to Christmas, so she'd told her to just stay home.

 _She's fine,_ she had said, smiling at him _. Just snuffly._

That had been yesterday though. Her detail had reported that she'd checked in with them in the evening, but not sent them out for anything. She had replied shortly to his message asking how she was, but that had been yesterday afternoon now. So here he was. Standing in a near blizzard on her doorstep with a heaving bag of groceries.

Staring at a door that was definitely not opening.

 _Do your job._ That was his justification for sliding the key into the lock, and stepping through the doorway. He quickly turned and closed the door to keep the cold out, shaking as much snow off himself as he could. He immediately noted his scarf and gloves, carefully folded on the hall stand. _Not that they'd done her much good._ She'd still gotten sick. Ice skating in nothing but jeans and a leather jacket, no wonder she'd gotten ill.

"Jane?" he called softly, stepping into the living room. The curtains were closed, the room warm and dark. He moved towards the stairs and opened his mouth to call again, but paused as something moved in his peripheral vision. He turned, zeroing in on a large pile of blankets squashed into the small corner armchair.

Blankets topped with a mess of dark curls, and with a pale, dangling foot.

Placing the shopping down quietly, he crossed the dark room. Memories flashed behind his eyes; Taylor, cramming herself into cupboards, wedged behind furniture and even once contorting herself till she had followed their tabby through the cat flap. But how Jane had pretzeled herself into the small surface area the armchair provided and was comfortable enough to sleep was lost on him. He bent to touch what he hoped was her arm.

"Jane?"

She jerked awake violently as his fingers brushed against her, hands coming up to shield her face in a wheezed shout. He took an immediate step back, careful to keep his hands and face in her eye line.

"Hey, hey, it's just me. I'm sorry." he said, quietly.

Jane blinked slowly at him in the darkness, breathing hard. Then recognition dawned in her face, and she lowered her arms, sinking back into the chair with a hand on her chest.

"Kurt," she murmured, eyes closing in relief. "I'm sorry, I thought-

"No, I'm sorry," he started, internally berating himself. "I shouldn't have... " _Broken in. Prowled around in the dark. Scared her half to death. Any of the above._

"So'k," she said, reaching up behind her to flick the lamp switch, bathing the room in warmth and better illuminating her face. Dark circles cupped drowsy eyes. The end of her nose and apples of her cheeks were flushed bright against her pale skin. Her voice rasped slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"Just..." he reached out against his better judgement and touched the back of his fingers to her forehead, chewing his lip. "Checking on you." She was warm, but not worryingly so. Jane cocked her head with a tired smile and, pushed herself upright, accepting his hand to lever herself out of the chair. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she stated firmly, pulling a blanket up behind her to wrap around her shoulders. He raised an eyebrow, and she rolled her eyes in thinly veiled exasperation. "Really, I am. I would have come in yesterday but Patterson was pretty ...insistent."

"You shouldn't have been in work." he agreed, still studying her as she smothered a rising cough in her hand. She rolled her eyes again before they flickered from him to the floor, where the abandoned bag sat against the sofa.

"What's that?"

"Oh. Your detail said you hadn't asked for anything." he said, gesturing somewhat awkwardly towards the shopping. "I just... picked up some things."

Jane's face was unreadable for seconds, blankly staring at him. "For me?"

He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah. It's not a lot." She stepped around him, an expression of abashed curiosity forming on her face as she knelt beside the carrier bag. Her hands reached for the handles, but she paused and she looked up at him.

"Why?"

"You're sick." he answered simply. "People...take care of people when they're sick." The words didn't feel right and it definitely wasn't what he was thinking. Her eyebrow unsurprisingly lifted, but her gaze remained innocent.

"People?"

 _Me. I want to take care of you._

"Yeah. People." his reply was gruffer than he would have liked. But she nodded with a small smile and her hands dipped into the bag, lifting item. He leant back against the sofa arm and tucked his hands into his pockets, carefully studying her face. Jane lifted the various packs of medication out first, wide eyes skimming over the various labels as she murmured under her breath. _Cough drops, vitamins, cold and flu tablets, vapour rub, night-aid..._ She lifted out the soup containers one by one, _chicken and leek, tomato and basil, beef and onion._ The packets of tea appeared next, _peppermint, camomile, and green._ Her eyes widened and flickered up to meet his. She pulled free the soft blue hot water bottle; _his own, not that he would tell her that_ , and ran her hand over it.

"Kurt, this is...you didn't to-"

"I know." He held her embarrassed gaze. "I wanted to."

She shook her head mutely, and stared down at the assortment of items on her table. Reaching into the bag, she pulled the last package free. Studying the sticker on the brown paper bag, she glanced up quickly in surprise, a smirk forming on her lips.

"Ah. Sawyer," he explained, with a wry grin. "The only thing you need to get better apparently."

She mirrored his grin and placed the bakery selection of hand sized chocolate chip cookies down on the table. She surveyed the contents again in a state of bewilderment, but with a wide smile now lighting her pale face.

"Thank you, so much." she said slowly, her voice thick with such pure and heartfelt sincerity that it left him astounded for a moment. That such a small thing, - _soup and cough drops for crying out loud_ \- could illicit such genuine gratitude. Her eyes shone, and warmth spread throughout his chest. Looking at her, red nosed and wheezing, but with such a delight in her face. He just wanted to keep it there, to never have that light die.

He had an idea.

"Come here." reaching for her hands, he clasped them gently in his own. He walked her towards the front door, stepping backwards, her forwards, never breaking eye contact. They paused on the mat and he squeezed her hands. "Close your eyes."

Jane's brow furrowed slightly. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" he asked. There was beat, the air around them electric. But then she nodded, slow and sure.

"Close your eyes." he murmured, rubbing his thumbs across the back of her hands. Her eyes closed, and he released her fingers, shrugging out of his winter coat quickly. Her swung it around her back and settled it over her shoulders. "Put your arms in." Puzzlement was etched into her features but she slipped her arms obediently into place. He knelt before her and slipped her feet into the heavy department issue boots she had been given. As he deftly buttoned up the front of the coat, her mouth opened questioningly. "Shhh," he smiled, unlatching the front door. Taking her hands back in his own her stepped backwards out the door, the cold air hitting his back like a wall. She shivered violently, and he slid his hands up her arms, settling them in the crook of her forearms. Her eyes stayed closed and she stepped after him, carefully leading her down the stone front steps. The snow was approaching a foot in depth by now, and was still falling fast. A piece landed on the end of her nose, which crumpled endearingly but her eyes stayed closed. He touched his thumb to it gently.

"Okay." he said. "Open your eyes."

Jane's lashes lifted, and her mouth dropped open. She took a shaky step back out of his arms to take in the scene around her, turning slowly on the spot with her mouth agape.

"Oh my god." Her voice was an awed whisper. She turned a full slow circle and, lifted a hand to the sky. The falling snow began coating her palm and she let out a burst of breathless laughter as she turned back to face him. Green eyes glistening with wonder, she mouthed silent exclamations with her face lit up in absolute rapture. He laughed softly and dabbed another snowflake of her nose.

"This...this is..." her voice trailed off, grin wider than he'd ever seen. He just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn't sure he even could. She stepped out into the blank canvas that was the untouched front garden, treading carefully into the deep snow. She reached the centre and turned on the spot, with a sudden energy born of her excitement. Arms held aloft, she span, laughing in childlike wonder. A sudden gust of wind swirled the snow around her in a flurry of white. But still she laughed, scooping snow into her hands, trailing her fingers through it. She turned to him, voice strong and clear

"It's so beautiful."

Stood there wrapped up tight in his coat, with snowflakes sparkling in her hair and eyelashes. Red cheeks, red nose, but with unadulterated joy glistening in her green eyes. It was just about the most exquisite thing he'd ever seen.

"Yes." he whispered. "Yes it is."

* * *

 **I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas :)**


End file.
